First babysitter and a concert

One of the reasons I started this blog was to share in the ups and downs of international adoption. Getting babysitters is a hot topic issue in the world of IA. There are some moms who put their adopted babies back in daycare after their six week maternity leave is up. There are some moms who don't leave them with anyone, ever, for years. I figured there has to be some sort of middle ground. Of course, all this depends on the individual child. Do they have minor or major attachment issues? Do they have special needs of some other variety?

Through the eyes of an IA child, they behold: Birth mom left me, foster mom left me (or so they reason), how do I know you're not going to leave me permanently, too?


After being very careful for a year to only leave Cami with a select few people (me, Craig and my mom), we decided to attempt an outing together with my parents. Thus, Cami was left with her first teenage sitter. The sitter asked if she could bring her friend and her mom vouched for the good behavior of this friend, so I said, "OK." I figured this would be a good experiment as it only involved about three hours in the afternoon. The sitters wouldn't have to feed the kids meals and wouldn't have to get them up in the morning or put them to bed.

Craig and I then went to see Lorie Line. She hasn't been to town since 2001. Her concert was awesome, as usual. I've never thought Lorie was outstanding in a technical sense, like, say Liberace, but she knows how to entertain a crowd and she appeals to all ages. She played everything from the "Beer Barrell Polka" (not my favorite) to the awesome hymn "It is Well With My Soul" to a song by Coldplay (Chris Martin's band- hubby of actress Gwyneth Paltrow). She has a 17-year-old playing violin in her ensemble, and he was outstanding. I could tell what the economy has done to concert attendance. The last time we went in 2001 the auditorium was full. This time it was about 2/3 full.

When we got home we could hear Cami screaming while we were still in the garage. The sitters said she'd been screaming for the last 20 minutes. 20 min. out of 3 hours really isn't all that bad, but what if we'd been gone longer? I don't know how long she might have continued. The sitters looked exhausted and Cami was exhausted. Collin kept giving her sippy cups of water in his motherly way. Shortly after the sitters left she produced what felt like a 10 lb. diaper from all the hydration.

So now I was in a pickle. I had booked another sitter for this coming Thursday because there is a workshop I HAVE to take to keep my state teaching license. The sitter I booked Sunday was unavailable, plus we want Cami to get used to different people. At the suggestion of a mom on my adoption web forum, I called the mother of Sitter #2 and asked if she could come over and play with Cami while I was home, which she agreed to do. So, the sitter came over this morning and things went quite well. I played with the boys intially and asked the sitter to play with Cami. However, I sensed my presence was awkward for the sitter, so I retreated upstairs and told her I'd come down and referee if the boys had a fight (not that that EVER happens.) I popped in and out of the room so Cami could see that I always return when I leave.

Here are a couple of things I've debated: 1. I've been told to get children used to one sitter. Problem is, one and only one sitter is not always going to be available every time I need a sitter. 2. I've been told adopted children do better when their siblings are left at home. However, our boys are such a handful, I don't know if that would make the situation better or worse?

The plan is to have the sitter come to watch Cami Thurs. while I drop the boys off at the home of an adult friend. I'm praying it goes well for all involved.

OOPS! I forgot to mention that today, for the first time, even after all her "trauma," Cami said, "I love you," to me for the first time. :)